Sunday, March 25, 2012

A Fine Tooth Comb

I have a fine tooth comb, you know the generic black type.
 While brushing through the same hairstyle i wear everyday two of the teeth broke off. I found them lying there on the stark white counter top. Instead of doing what most normal people would do (throw them away ) I gingerly shoved them through the pre-pierced holes in my ears wondering if they would fit but not really caring. Why? I am not sure. Do I often do this kind of nonsense? No, but perhaps i shall start. Was the outcome as satisfying? Well i suppose so, no, yes, yes in deed.  Perhaps it reminds me of the small plastic things my students in China would accessorize themselves with. Perhaps I subconsciously just wanted to stab something. Or maybe I just liked it. I liked it enough to wear the small black "teeth" which protrude unnaturally far from my ears to church. Maybe I wanted a reaction, a comment, or someone to recognize that I wasn't doing what was "normal". Alas, there was no comment, no slight turn of the head, not even a stifled laugh.

 It was then that i realized that it is coming again, that itch. The one that makes me daydream too much, that itch that seems to constantly be on the move, urging me forward while my good sense keeps me back.  I can't yet say what, when, or how but my time here seems to be running on exhaust. The pit in my stomach seems to drop a quarter of an inch every time I look  at the the photos of my friends abroad, helping the poor, leaving on missions, learning languages, walking down unknown streets, with unknown people, consistently on the brink of something new. You know, I wish i was the type of person who was happy with where she was all the time, you know that girl who sees other people living life on the edge but stands resolute in her happiness for staying in the same town, with the same friends, and the same job. Yet I am not. I am the girl who craves adventure. The girl who always thinks about her good ole days and is convinced all good memories are made abroad. I am that girl who takes that broken fine tooth comb and shoves it in her ear.

4 comments:

Perla said...

Oh Ryleigh! I love that you wore the teeth of your comb in your ears to church! I love you! it reminds me of the time the clasp to my hoop earring broke so I put it on my lip. I don't really know why. Wore it to school and work and nobody said anything. But to me it was something. What? I guess its just a sign of wanderlust.
By the way, Haiti is probably going to be August 14th for a week or so. Consider it!!!

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